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This is a discussion on Economic Models explained with Cows within the Humour forums, part of the Off Topic category; SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both ...
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06-07-11, 02:53 AM
| #1 |
| Mini Mac  Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Planet Urth
Posts: 3,667
  | Economic Models explained with CowsSOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away… TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force theother to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. One is mad the other has foot and mouth. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy… AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive. |
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06-07-11, 07:33 AM
| #2 |
| free-gadgets.co.nr  Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Mumbai, India
Posts: 1,971
  | HAHA! Real good share! Especially, loved the Japanese one!
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06-07-11, 11:54 AM
| #3 |
| iPod 30gb  Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: London
Posts: 1,335
| lol yea those are funny.
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13-07-11, 07:32 AM
| #4 |
| BANNED Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 16
| really funnyreally funny loved every bit of it  |
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14-07-11, 09:37 PM
| #5 | |
| iPod 30gb Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Widnes
Posts: 1,090
| Quote:
__________________ Totally Free iPad | McFlurry Ice Cream Van Everything I say reflects my own opinions and not that of any company. | |
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14-07-11, 11:35 PM
| #6 |
| Mini Mac Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Planet Urth
Posts: 3,667
| lol that's actually just a rumour, they don't actually arrest anyone. Even if you create a website insulting Mao Zedong and get it to the top of Google, they are just going to block the site, that's all. |
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15-07-11, 01:03 AM
| #7 | |
| iPod 60gb  Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Reading
Posts: 1,706
| Quote:
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15-07-11, 02:53 AM
| #8 |
| Mini Mac Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Planet Urth
Posts: 3,667
| Not that I would do that though lol, Mao Zedong was a good man. |
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26-07-11, 04:50 PM
| #9 |
| iPod Shuffle Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 3
| Nice I've actually seen this on a poster at school |
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26-07-11, 04:58 PM
| #10 | |
| Call me Vlad  Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: South London
Posts: 9,512
 | Surely Fascism is more of an ideology than an economic model? But clever nonetheless  Quote:
__________________ Last edited by Larkino; 26-07-11 at 05:02 PM.. | |
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