Christmas Cake

[MsSmirnoff]

Xmas Cake Recipe
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
lots of nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
Try another cup .... just in case. Turn off the mixerer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor. Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver. Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt.Or something.Who giveshz a sihit. Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and psiss in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat.
Fall into bed.
CHERRY MISTMAS!

[SwedishTom]

*hick* wares tha ret ov te odka missy.. *hick* ant morr.. *hick*

Cheers
Tom

[MsSmirnoff]

It would appear you drank it.

PML you nutter Tom!

[rogerdodger]

pml?

i am not up on all these abbreviations so if anyone wants to start a thread explaining them please feel free, tvm!

[rogerdodger]

TVM (ta very much) thats not a real one is it?

[MsSmirnoff]

PML - Usually pmsl - But I'm lazy an half asleep this morning.

P***ing myself laughing!

Actually could argue that pml is right as theres only 3 words ... Ok I'm leaving the room now

[SwedishTom]

But it was a good *hick* recipe, so tassstttyyy!

Cheers
Tom

PS Have to try that one.. maybe I will actually be able to make a eatable cake if I do!

[MsSmirnoff]

Its the only Chrismas cake I'd manage to bake that's for sure!

[SwedishTom]

After doing everything in that recipe I can imagen it is!! But hopefully you also share a bit with your other half so he wont fell left out.. or is the Vodka soly yours to have?!?

Cheers
Tom

[MsSmirnoff]

LOL Cheeky

I don't usually have a choice to share - He theifs my vodka when I'm not there! *Growl* Need to teach him a few lessons me thinks! An a defo no no for sharing when I do have the choice - If I share I end up carrying him home

[SwedishTom]

Carrying him home? Sounds like he should stay away from the bottle.. full stop! Maybe you should lock away the bottles now then.. so he wont be able to thief them so easily.. and depending on you to carry him home later one I mean..

Cheers
Tom

PS Maybe to "teach him a few leassons" you should leave him there and make him get home on his own the day after with a splittering headache?

PSS Quickly runs and hid behind Ms Smirnoff as her other half comes in to the room and reads this! ROTFLUTS (Rolling on the floor laughing unable to speak)

[MsSmirnoff]

He's gonna kick my *** BUT plan an a half Tom - You can get them safes for about £40 I think *Cackle*

As for leaving him there - He's already been told that's what will happen - First time we went out together I carried him from the taxi to my house an of course with the added bonus of falling over an taking me with him *Growl* THEN refused to go to bed until I made him a cup of tea an a ham sarnie!

Duno what your hiding behind me for - I'm hiding behind you Tom -

[SwedishTom]

Originally Posted by MsSmirnoff

Duno what your hiding behind me for - I'm hiding behind you Tom -

Uhmm that will mean we are running around in circles then.. trying to hide behind each other!!

Cheers
Tom

[MsSmirnoff]

How about we just peg it to the pub - Pretty sharpish as well?

>>>

Now if I am in trouble - I will just flutter my eye lashs an blame you tbh Tom - Lol

[SwedishTom]

Sure, why not.. since you are treating me!

And if you blame me I will just redirect him to this thread and when he sees you are going to lock away the Smirnoff he will forget that I am around!

Cheers
Tom

[MsSmirnoff]

Water for you then? Lol!

Errrr ... Might have to use other methods of buttering him up then

Although he's on a ban right now *Hmmm*

[SwedishTom]

Originally Posted by MsSmirnoff

Water for you then? Lol!

Errrr ... Might have to use other methods of buttering him up then

Although he's on a ban right now *Hmmm*

Water? Nah, thats dangerously to drink!! Never know what side effects that can give you! *shrugs*

Uhmmm "He's on a ban right now? Now you are making ME confussed..

Cheers
Tom

[MsSmirnoff]

LMAO - Ok ok Vimto?

Buttering him up in other ways *Ahem* - But hes on a *ahem* ban Get it now? LOL

*Leaves room*

[SwedishTom]

Doing 5 different things at once makes my brain slow obvioulsy!! Yeah got it now!!

Cheers
Tom

[MsSmirnoff]

5 - Hmmm my head goes doing 1 thing!!!