eXceem

Go Back   eXceem > Off Topic > Humour

Claim your amazing £1,000 slots booster bonus now!


Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)

This is a discussion on Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!) within the Humour forums, part of the Off Topic category; A typical English 20 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on ...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-02-07, 01:03 PM   #1
..is a Muppet!
 
FurbtasticM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Swindon
Posts: 10,243
FurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond repute

Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


A typical English 20 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks,

"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree"

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please.

Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.

Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to
a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely.

There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes ..

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes...





(Keep going)

































"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports as well"
__________________
 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-07, 03:30 PM   #2
Call me Ben ....
 
bmh16's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Bristol / Neath
Posts: 7,738
bmh16 is a name known to allbmh16 is a name known to allbmh16 is a name known to allbmh16 is a name known to all
Send a message via MSN to bmh16

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


haha lol
__________________
 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-07, 08:09 PM   #3
BANNED
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 155
atomic is an unknown quantity at this point

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


Lol pretty funny!
 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-07, 08:43 PM   #4
iPod 20gb
 
drunfola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 534
drunfola is an unknown quantity at this point
Send a message via MSN to drunfola

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


hahaha
__________________
Freebies so far

ipod nano blue 2gb
ipod nano black 8gb
£150 paypal
nintendo DS
xbox 360 premium
webcam
ipod shuffle
LG shine Mobile Phone
 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-07, 09:19 PM   #5
iPod Nano 4GB
 
RawPhoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London, UK
Posts: 265
RawPhoenix is an unknown quantity at this point
Send a message via ICQ to RawPhoenix Send a message via AIM to RawPhoenix Send a message via MSN to RawPhoenix Send a message via Yahoo to RawPhoenix Send a message via Skype™ to RawPhoenix

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


lol
Outstanding!
 
Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-07, 08:20 AM   #6
Mini Mac
 
chigley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Bolton/London (home/uni.)
Posts: 8,424
chigley has a reputation beyond reputechigley has a reputation beyond reputechigley has a reputation beyond reputechigley has a reputation beyond reputechigley has a reputation beyond reputechigley has a reputation beyond reputechigley has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via MSN to chigley

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


Fantastic!
 
Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-07, 06:17 PM   #7
iPod Nano 2GB
 
tallulah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 150
tallulah is on a distinguished road

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


thats awesome!! me and my bf just had a right chuckle!!
 
Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-07, 07:33 PM   #8
..is a Muppet!
 
FurbtasticM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Swindon
Posts: 10,243
FurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond reputeFurbtasticM has a reputation beyond repute

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


Do you have Sky sports as well then
__________________
 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-07, 11:49 AM   #9
BANNED
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Bonnie Scotland :P
Posts: 464
Mr Maybs has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Send a message via MSN to Mr Maybs Send a message via Yahoo to Mr Maybs

Re: Shipwrecked (Long but worth the read!)


fantastic, just wish it was a book I was reading.
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
shipwrecked, worth

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off





All times are GMT. The time now is 09:53 PM.
All trademarks and copyrights held by respective owners. Forum posts are owned by the poster.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO
no new posts